Truths of the Comparison Trap

All my life I have been comparing myself to people. From clothes, to money status, physical appearance, you name it. I was unhappy with my life and I started looking at others' lives and how much better they were than mine. I became jealous, bitter, and even more unhappy than I was at first. It constantly felt like I had to always one up the people around me. It was exhausting.

As I got older, I realized that I didn't want to spend my life in this behavior. I realized that the same energy I put in comparing myself to others, I can put the same energy in taking care of myself and doing what I needed to do in my own life. It was then when I had a realization that no one has a perfect life no matter what lens we are looking through.

It's easy to think that the grass is greener on the other side when we're not taking care of our own grass.

Comparing ourselves to others opens a door for jealousy, envy and bitterness to enter and rot our hearts. Even if you're friends with the person, you still secretly envy them. We start these secret competitions that only exist in our minds and try to "keep up with the joneses" and it leaves us empty and more unsatisfied.

When we compare ourselves to other people and their lives with ours, we come to think that God is blessing them and that God has somehow missed us. We start to believe that God isn't working in our life. We compare our spiritual walk with others and try to catch up with them, taking our eyes off the cross.

The moment when we focus on others' lives envying what they have, we begin to lose focus on what God has given us and what He is doing in our lives. We're saying to God that we are not satisfied with what He's given us. What we have is not enough. We want more. We become selfish.

Social media has a big role in this. If you didn't know, social media is now found to be the main link to depression in this generation. We open up our favorite social media and it seems that we only see people living happy glamorous lives. Though most people don't show everything that goes on in their life, they only show what they want others to see. But little do we know that behind the things they post, they're dying inside, unhappy, fighting battles that we know nothing about.

We covet and envy what others have but never think about what they had to do to receive it. We want the platform but God has called us to something different. You have to get to work and use what God has given you, be faithful with it, and watch Him do the same for you as He did the other person.

We covet and ask for things that God may be protecting us from. When others get the job or business plan or even the degree that we wanted, we get disappointed and wish it was us. Or when someone gets into a relationship and you've been waiting faithfully and patiently. But maybe God didn't want you to have that specific job or business plan because He saw something ahead that you didn't. Maybe God didn't want to give you that relationship you wanted because it may not be the right time or the person is not right for you. Just because what someone else has looks good, doesn't mean that it is good or that it's from God.

These distractions keep us from focusing on the real thing: Jesus and what He wants us to do while we are here on this Earth. We need to come to an understanding that everybody's walk is different. Everyone's story is different. His timing is different for everyone. What may be for someone else may not be exactly be for you. And that's fine. But the only way we can know is if we seek God for ourselves.

Go down before God and seek Him and His will for your life. The more you walk in the will God has for your life, the less you have time to worry about what the other person is doing.

When we become content with ourselves and focus on what God is doing in our lives is when we stop comparison.

When you're focused on the plan God has on your life, you don't have time to be jealous of other people, instead you celebrate with them. Instead of being happy when they fall, you help lift them up. Instead of gossiping and talking them down, you begin to pray for them. That's spiritual maturity.

Whether we know it or not, there are those that are envying what we have and here we are envying them and what they have. It's an all around never ending cycle that prevents us from creating friendships and sisterhoods. When are we going to stop envying each other and start befriending each other?

There will always be others that may look like they are ahead or doing better than you but choose to remain faithful with your portion and trust that what God gives is enough and that He rewards faithfulness.

Enough of the secret competitions and wishing for others' downfalls. Enough of the jealousy and useless gossip. Don't chase what you can see, but chase what you can't see; Jesus. Let Him be the source of your contentment and He will provide. He is faithful."But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." ~Matthew 6:33

Father,

I thank You for where you have placed me and those that are reading this. I pray that You guard our hearts from spirits of jealousy, bitterness and envy. Show us how we can be content with the lives and portions that you have given us. May You show us how we can rejoice with others even when the very thing that has happened to them hasn't happened for us yet. Show us how to befriend others instead of envying them. I pray that you replace coveting with contentment in our hearts. Help us to remember that our identity is not in the things that we have, but in whom we belong to. In Jesus name, Amen.