Masturbation: Sexual Health or Sexual Sin?

Masturbation. The word that's uncomfortable to talk about, yet so many people (especially women) secretly struggle with it. This topic isn't talked about enough yet falls along one of the many secret sins that keeps many believers in bondage. For others, it may not seem as a struggle because the world today now proclaims that it's normal and that there's nothing to be ashamed of if you do it. But the question continues to go back and forth in your mind, "Is it really something I should be doing?" or "If everyone's doing it and if there's nothing to be ashamed of, then why do I always feel guilty and dirty after I've done it?"

What is Masturbation?

Masturbation is the sexual act of pleasing oneself by the stimulation of the genitals. This can be done by hand, clothing, or even with the aid of sexual toys. According to a national study done in 2020, 95% of males masturbate compared to the rate of women which is 89%. As you can see, they are both very high. Health experts now say that masturbation is considered sexually healthy and recommend it for women. According to a health study done in 2019, 30% of women, above the age of 50, and who were in a relationship, had engaged in masturbation recently (https://www.prevention.com/sex/a22618408/benefits-of-masturbation/). It's also been said that scientifically, masturbation can bring about many health benefits ranging from physical to emotional and mental health. But even if scientists consider it sexually healthy and normal, it doesn't necessarily mean that it is honorable to God.

I'm just going to say this and not beat around the bush: Masturbation is a sin. Like it or not, it doesn't glorify God. Masturbation leads to desensitization, fornication, perversion, pornography, questioning your sexuality, and depression. It may not be talked directly in the Bible but the concept still applies when talking bout sexual immorality. The Bible says what it says; the sexual immoral or impure will not inherit the kingdom of God (Ephesians 5:5, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10). Am I saying I'm perfect? Not at all. I've also privately struggled with it. I knew it wasn't pleasing to God but I only cared to fulfill my sexual desires that were present at the moment. It always resulted in guilt, shame, and drawing me farther from God. But with God's mercy, never changing grace, and redemption, He has opened my eyes to see that I could be free from it and see it for what it was: sexual sin.

So this post is for all; those secretly struggling and bound, for those who have heard of it and are on the fence about doing it, and for those who have done it but keep falling into it. Please know that my intention for this post is not to judge or shame and condemn you; the goal for this post is to shed light and biblical truth on masturbation and why it's considered a sin. In this post, I gathered "facts" from health experts on how masturbation is considered sexually healthy to practice while I compare it to the authoritative word of God.

1. "You'll feel more empowered and connected to your body."

Just because the world says it's okay, doesn't mean that it always is. Remember, the world is self seeking and doesn't know or fear God. Though you have free will to do whatever you please, but not everything is beneficial for you. ("You say, 'I am allowed to do anything'—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything." ~1 Corinthians 6:12). Masturbation cannot help with your low self esteem issues. It may be pleasurable and freeing in the moment but after, it makes you feel worthless and shameful, and for some it may make you feel disgusted towards your body. You want to feel connected to your body? Get connected to Jesus. You want to feel empowered? Tap into the power of the Holy Spirit who gives you true power. Masturbation will leave you empty and unsatisfied, Jesus will have you full and feeling whole.

"Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body." ~1 Corinthians 6:18-20

Sexual immorality refers to the broad spectrum of sexual sin. The purpose of sexual immorality is for the gratification of lust, therefore it cannot please God for it is selfish. Sexual immorality is so powerful that Paul urged the Corinthians that sex is to be reserved within the limit of marriage. He also warns us to flee from it! Sexual sin when practiced outside of marital boundaries, desensitizes our spirits to what God says is pure and valuable. Your body is not your own, it was bought at a high price. Once this world is done away with, so will our bodies be done away with. We are to give our bodies as a living sacrifice that is holy and pleasing to God (Romans 12:1), this means that if they were first created by God, then they are created for God. We are to reserve them for the sole purpose of glorifying Christ, not to please our flesh.

2. "Masturbation reduces stress."

There are other and more beneficial ways to reduce stress. Drink some tea. Go outside for a walk. Talk to a friend and vent out your stress. Journal. Read the bible, or a book for enjoyment. Exercise your stress off. Take a nap (seriously, sometimes all we need is just a nap). Masturbation may reduce stress for the moment but it grieves the Holy Spirit. Grieving the Holy Spirit means to make it sad, make it regretful. "And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption." ~Ephesians 4:30. The Spirit of the living God was given to us as a gift from Jesus to dwell on inside of us. The Holy Spirit speaks to us on behalf of Jesus and guides us to walk in God's ways. When we act in a way that we know isn't pleasing to God, the Holy Spirit will convict and remind us of the right thing to do. The Holy Spirit never leads us to sin, it helps us overcome sin. It is able to give us the willingness and power to obey God's word. What good is having reduced stress at the expense of a grieved spirit?

3. "I'm not having sex with anyone so it's okay to masturbate!"

Wrong. Masturbation doesn't satisfy sexual desires, it only intensifies them. You open yourself up to uncontrollable lustful desires, fantasies, pornography, and depression. You may not be having sex with anyone, but you open yourself up to a lot of things that can damage and prevent your growth in your walk with God. If it leaves you in guilt and shame afterwards, it's not of God. If you have to go outside of God to be satisfied, it's not of God, so therefore it's not for you. A one time thing can become an addiction if we're not careful, the word of God tells us to not use the freedom we've been given by Christ to sin and to not get caught up in the yoke of bondage (Galatians 5:1,13). In the words from the great American poet and author Jackie Hill Perry, "I rather not forsake eternity in Heaven for the sake of an itch".

Masturbation doesn't satisfy sexual desires, it only intensifies them.

4. "Masturbation strengthens the sexual relationship with your partner."

False. Masturbation will weaken the relationship between you and your partner. From the word of God, sex is meant to be within the bounds of marriage. God created men and women to 1) glorify His kingdom with their God-given gifts and 2) to be joined together in marriage to represent the holy and pure relationship between Christ and the church. Masturbation isn't God's unique design for sex. God created sex to be enjoyed and fulfilled between the vulnerability and intimacy of two people joined together. Being single, I've learned a lot about the importance of singleness and how it will benefit marriage. One of the things I'm continuing to learn is that what you don't destroy in your singleness, will destroy your future marriage. If not controlled or stopped, it could lead to a habit that could damage the connection and intimacy, potentially replacing your spouse. Control your lustful passions before they control you.

"For this is God’s will, your sanctification: that you keep away from sexual immorality, that each of you knows how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not with lustful passions, like the Gentiles, who don’t know God." ~ 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

"What if I already know that masturbation is against God's word, but I keep falling into it? What do I do?"

I understand and resonate with you. It happens, we ALL fall short of the glory of God, no matter where we are in life. Here's the good news: Jesus forgives. 1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." When you confess to Jesus, not only will He forgive your sins, but He will wash them away leaving no trace to be found again. This doesn't mean that you won't face temptation. There will be times you will face the temptation to go back and sin for a temporary moment of pleasure. I will be honest and say that there may be times where you you will fall short, but the beautiful thing about God is that He is loving and merciful to pick you up again and forgive. But you must not conceal your sins, you must confess and turn away from them. "People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy." (Proverbs 28:13).

I encourage you that when you find yourself in a moment of compromising eternity in heaven for the sake of satisfying an itch, use that moment to lean and depend on Jesus. His grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9) and He will help you in your moment of weakness. If you think you are masturbating at an excessive rate and see that it is affecting your relationships, I would advise to seek professional help. Seek someone you trust that will help you break the habit and keep you accountable. Too often we endure things privately and neglect first, God's wisdom and the wisdom provided by others.

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I hope these scriptures helped answer some of the questions you've had when it comes to this topic. My prayer is that you realize that you are not obligated to sin and its power. I pray that you feel loved and forgiven by God. I pray and declare that God has set you free once and for all in this area and that it would no longer have a hold on you. There is power in the name of Jesus to break every chain in your life. Submit to God and flee from the youthful lusts of this day and age. It won't be easy but Jesus promised that He has and never will leave you to conquer it alone. Invite Jesus in the process and allow Him to purify your heart and renew your mind. He can help you to turn away from the things that don't please Him and work in you, giving you a willingness to live for Him. Starting today, whom the Son sets free is free indeed.