Singleness: Battling Through Feelings of Loneliness

Does this sound familiar? One day you're confident, strong in the Lord, content being by yourself and not needing to be in a relationship, etc. And then another day, you find yourself moody, questioning what's wrong with you, crying, silently wishing you were "boo'd up" telling yourself and God that it doesn't hurt to have one guy interested in you for a change.

It's normal for it to happen from time to time. But know that those moments come and go, they don't last and we don't have to submit to those feelings of loneliness. But how? with this post, I want to bring you a few reminders and helpful tips on dealing with feelings of loneliness when it seems to overwhelm you. Hoping these tips give you some insight and encourage you to not stay in the dumps.

• Don't settle

You are worth more than a good time! You don't have to settle for what's available, when you know that God has better for you. You don't have to lower your standards to be with someone who isn't capable of meeting them. The person that God has for you is able meet those standards and love you as God intended him to. Don't operate in the spirit of loneliness and desperation (yes honey, that spirit is real!), it will lead you to make wrong decisions which will ultimately lead to consequences. It's better to be alone for a while than to be with someone and still feel lonely. It's not worth it daughter of God, wait.

• Don't covet others' relationships

I know, easier said done, but instead of desiring others' relationships, learn from them. Learn what to do and what not to do when certain situations arise. Learn from married women or those in relationships headed to marriage on how to be the woman that your man of God will need when the Lord decides to put you two together. We'll often look around and think that the Lord has forgotten us, or that the Lord has put our desires aside. But what if God is allowing you to wait because He has something important to teach you? Don't be jealous or grow impatient, but instead be grateful and enjoy where God has you now for when you look back, you'll thank God for the lessons He taught you.

• Take a break from social media

Before you get defensive and say, "Woah, social media? You're taking it way too far", pause and think about it: How many times have you gotten on social media only to end up in the dumps because of all the relationship posts you see? It's okay to take a break from social media every once in a while. You won't be missing out on anything, instead you'll gain something worth much more: peace of mind.

Don't let social media allow you to believe that your life isn't great because you don't have someone to share it with. If we're not careful, social media can cause us to rush into seasons we're not ready for and have you look at your current season asking, "Why aren't I there yet?" "What is it that I'm doing wrong?" Take a break. Get back to the things that matter. Talk and catch up to the people around you. Don't miss out on the opportunities around you by rushing into something you're not ready for.

• Draw near to Jesus

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." ~Jeremiah 29:13

Our feelings of loneliness, says quite a lot about our relationship with Christ. Seeking for an earthly relationship more than a heavenly divine relationship with the Father says for us that He is not enough. But I want to remind you that He's more than enough. He is able to satisfy your deepest needs. He is able to fill your heart and cause it to overflow. Draw near to Him, seek Him with an open heart and you'll find that everything you need is found in Him.

Remember singles, it's okay to want a relationship and be loved, God gave us those desires. But don't let that desire dominate over the desire to know and love Christ.

It's okay to want a relationship and be loved, God gave us those desires. But don't let that desire dominate over the desire to know and love Christ.

Psalms 37:4, says to delight yourself in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart. But the desires this verse speaks of aren't just the desires you have for yourself but the desires the Lord has for you. His desires for you are vast but in order to know them, you must be willing to be hidden in Christ. Spend time with the Lord. Make room for Him in your heart to be filled with His love, truth, and promises so you don't waste time looking for someone else to fill a void that only He can fill.

I recall one night I could not go to sleep because my thoughts and doubts would keep me up all night. Tearing and telling God my inner most deep feelings, the Lord brought me to this verse,

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait patiently for the Lord." ~Psalms 27:14.

Bring your anxiety, your questions, your overwhelming feelings of loneliness, and desires to the Lord. Choose to no longer worry, surrender them to God and let Him wrap you in His loving arms. He cares for you and your love life. He knows what you need, and the best time to give it to you. He will indeed take care of you, now and in the future.

Wait beloved. Be patient. He is able and will bring your desires to come to pass. As you rest in His love, trust in His faithfulness. Cure your loneliness with closeness to Jesus, He won't let you down.

---

Dear Father,

I pray for every girl who is overwhelmed and deeply longing for a relationship. I pray that they see that only You Lord can satisfy the emptiness in their heart. I pray that the girl reading this sees herself as You see her; lovely, cherished, beautiful, and worth waiting for. May You supply her with the patience needed to wait on You as You bring her desires to completion. May the joy of You Lord be her strength as she continues to trust You with all the details of her life. I pray that You shift her eyes and heart from the world and what she can see to You and Your eternal promises. May she not be distracted, but focused on where You have her and the valuable work You're doing within her. Give her peace that at the right time, You will lead her to the heart of a man that is after Yours. In Your Holy name, Amen.