Silent Seasons: Going Through Seasons of Loneliness

It was about three months that God allowed me and my best friends to be separated. I cried, I prayed, I cried and prayed some more. I blamed myself. I blamed people around me. I even blamed God. I didn't understand why this was happening or how God could let this happen. I didn't understand what was going on. It was the first time when I truly felt as if I was by myself in this situation. And when there was nothing to do about it, I had to learn how to be alone with God.

If I said that I enjoyed that season, I would be a liar. I hated every minute of it. I felt isolated. I felt hurt, embarrassed of how the situation turned out. But I learned that the season was not just about me, but it was about God and what He was doing. It was about God and what He was leading me to after enduring that season. When I realized that I had no control over the situation, I had to learn to surrender my sky rocketing emotions to God and allow Him to use this season to use me.

During that rough season, I learned about long-suffering, which is actually one of the spiritual gifts (Galatians 5:22-23 NKJV). Long suffering is patiently enduring the troubles you face. In the bible its said that we as people of God will have to endure trials of long sufferings of all kinds. It's in the trials of long suffering that we can be conformed into God's image and bear fruit. It's at this time I knew there was no way I could run from this but I had to learn from it.

Through that season of loneliness, God was developing patience within me. I had to be patient enough to wait for the season and harsh trial to end. He was developing a heart of trust and reliance on Him within me. I had to learn to trust God wholeheartedly that He would move in my friends' hearts and restore our friendship. I had to trust God that whether or not things would be resolved with my friends the way I wanted to, God is still a good God and He still has good plans for me. He was developing inner strength within me. I had to learn to be strong when I felt discouraged. I learned that my joy and strength was to come from Him, not in my changing emotions or trials.

“But then I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there." (Hosea 2:14)

The desert or "dry season" is lonely at first. It's cold. It's dark. It's humiliating. It's long enduring. It's the place we'd rather not be. You feel as if you've walked circles around it many times, that you'll never find a way out. We've all possibly encountered seasons like this once in our lifetime or will experience it more than once, but the desert season serves as being God's invitation for us to draw near to Him. It is an invitation to develop a close and personal relationship with Him.

God is willing to do anything to get your attention. Even if it means disrupting your own plans. That's how crazy He's in love with you

For me, it was my friends. Becoming so dependent on my friends, I placed my identity on them, losing my dependency and identity in God. Sometimes God will pull us away from distractions in order to get our full attention, whether it be your friends, your job, even family. Sometimes God has to isolate us from the things that have our main attention to tune out other voices so that we're able to hear His voice.

The desert place is where God is able to meet with us, no distractions. It's where we can be molded and shaped by His design with no interruptions. By separating me from my best friends, this allowed Him to not only work on my heart, but to also work on theirs. By separating us, He was able to speak to me and I was able to hear Him loud and clear concerning the issues of my heart and what He was doing in my life. I was able to focus on my relationship with God and dig into His word while developing a deep intimacy with Him.

How I got through my season of hardship was by changing my perspective on it. I took it from a season of punishment to a season of spiritual growth. Instead of sobbing and complaining, I chose to take my complaints to God. Instead of worrying, I chose to press in through worship. When fear would begin speaking, I chose speak back His truth and trust God rather than listening to my emotions. Seasons of loneliness are to develop a heart of worship and surrender so you're able to stand firm with unwavering hope in Christ for the next seasons of hardships to come. They're to strengthen and develop your character. They're meant to develop faith and trust in Jesus, patience and peace that surpasses all undertanding (Romans 5:3-4).

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"It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees." (Psalm 119:71)

After those three months, God allowed my friends and I to reconnect slowly again. I was truly in awe of how faithful God was but most importantly what I gained from that season. If I hadn't gone through that season, I probably would have never learned the things I had during that time. I would have never gotten close to Jesus as I am today. I would have never got to reach and touch a new level of my relationship with Him along with the new level of worship and prayer I deeply admire today. I was able to witness the peace, comfort, faithfulness, and deep intimacy of God as He allowed our friendship to be slowly restored. He transformed my Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope (Hosea 2:15) and He is able to do the same for you.

When you're enduring hardships, you're bound to get impatient and frustrated, wanting to tell God to hurry up, that you can't bear it any longer. But from experience I'm telling you, take a step back. Learn to embrace that season instead of avoiding it. Tell God how you feel, press in, then simply listen. Don't go through a season and miss the opportunity of hearing what God wants to speak you. Stop trying to quickly find a way out of where you are. Be patient and let God work on you and your heart in that season for the next one to come.

There will seasons that bring joy and there will be some that bring pain. But be mindful that God is behind them all. He's in the beginning, the midst of it, and in the end. To the end, He will always prove Himself faithful. Not only will things eventually get better but you will become better. Learn to praise Him through the storm (or in this case, the desert) because through your praying and preserving, He is already answering. No matter what you are gong trough, remember that He uses all things for your good and for His glory (Romans 8:28).

Hang in there love, take heart and preserve. No matter how it's looking, don't lose hope. He's with us always in the valleys, mountains, even in the desert place. You will see the Valley of Hope again soon.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray for every girl that is enduring a type of hardship right now. Help them to not lean on their understanding but on the knowledge that You are God, You are good and faithful. I pray that you give them hope Father in a situation that seems hopeless. Teach them to be steadfast and unwavering no matter the difficulty of the trial. May they gain strength, patience, and deepened faith and trust in You as you lead and comfort them in their trials. Help them to not run from it but to run to it, knowing that when we are broken, we can be made whole again and what is broken can be restored . Help them to embrace where they are, for every season has its purpose. In Jesus name, Amen