Help for the Girl Who's Addicted to Lust & Pornography

Lust and pornography has always been said to be a men's issue, that men are the ones who have the problem and struggle with it. But I'm here to say that girls struggle with it too.

I was a slave to lust and pornography. This was a huge secret sin of mine. I've dealt with it for as long as I can remember. I was known as the normal christian girl, I've probably done all the things that would label me as such, you name it. I was living in a christian home. I was going to church every Sunday. I went to weekly bible study, participated in choir and youth church activities. But not a soul knew of my struggle with porn and lust.

Lust was a hard topic for me to talk about and a struggle for me to get through. I felt ashamed. I felt filthy and ugly. I thought how could God possibly love me? I felt as if I was alone though I thought it was normal because everyone was doing it. No harm right? Oh but there was; it was pulling me farther away from having a true relationship with God.

Sin's mission is to separate you from the One who is longing to bring you to Him. Pornography gives birth to lust. It distorts God's image of love, confusing it with the idea of sex. It rottens the heart, planting toxic seeds of homosexuality, greed, and adultery. Like a virus/disease, it gives birth to life long effects if not treated early, affecting not just you but your family, your friends, your marriage, self esteem, etc. It may give you the feeling of satisfaction but later, it leaves you feeling disgusted, guilty and ashamed.

I thought it was impossible for me to break out of it. It was when I realized that I wasn't alone and it was possible to put an end to the cycle of lust and pornography and be healed from it. If you're currently struggling with porn and lust and are in desperate need trying to stop, I'm hoping you take these insights to heart and mind and they help you:

• Tell a Trusted Friend/Get Accountability

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed" ~James 5:16.

I wanted to tell someone, but I was embarrassed. I was afraid of the sin I struggled with getting out. I was afraid that if I told someone, they wouldn't understand. I was afraid of people judging me, looking at me different and wanting to have nothing to do with me. As I learned to start opening up about my life and my past sins, surprisingly I found out that we are all imperfect and have our own skeletons in the closet. I not only realized that I wasn't alone but there were others who needed help and those who could help.

In the bible it says, victory is won with many advisers (Proverbs 11:14, 15:22, 24:6). Find someone who you can trust, someone you know won't judge you but will take you as the person you are. Tell someone you know who can help pray for you and give you the accountability you need to stay the path.

We're not called to do this alone. You never know who is going through the same problem you're going through and not only will it help you, but it'll help someone else too.

• Guard your Heart

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." ~Proverbs 4:23

Your heart and soul is valuable to God. It's so important you be mindful of what you put in. When I was convicted to stop living in lust, I learned to stop entertaining the things that would influence me to continue sinning. Things like certain TV shows, music, certain books, environments we've grown comfortable to, even people we don't realize are leading people to act on lust and pornography and we wonder why we can't break free. We have to be mindful of what we allow in our hearts because they will soon rule our lives. What we allow, will always continue. Sure it can be the smallest things, but it's those small things that plant a seed of lust in our heart and will eventually grow. Like a virus, the moment it enters in your heart, you are contaminated and the longer you leave it off, the longer it'll take to cut out of your life and stop it from growing.

2 Timothy 2:22 says, "Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts." Notice how the Bible doesn't say resist, but flee. Once you acknowledge you are in a situation you know you're bound to fall into sin, you don't stay put & see how far you can go without giving in, you run immediately! It's a dangerous game. I had to learn that the hard way, which took longer for me to realize that what I was doing was preventing me from running to Jesus, keeping me in bondage to lust and porn.

• Stand your ground

"So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want." ~Galatians 5:16-17

It is a continuous battle. The flesh and Spirit are constantly fighting against each other. They are fighting for your attention, your heart, and your life. We were all born in sin with fleshly desires but when you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord & Savior, He has adopted you and called you to righteousness. But that doesn't automatically mean that sin will suddenly go away. Because we were born in sin, our fleshly desires still hang around, tempting you to go back to the very thing God helped you break free from. To overcome those fleshly urges, we must remember that it is not by our power and strength but it is the Lord's. If we try to do t our way without the strength of the Lord, we would just fall; which is why walking by the spirit is crucial.

We walk by the spirit when we read and meditate on His Word daily, when we position ourselves in prayer, when we take captive of every thought and focus them towards God, and surround ourselves with other believers (this is where accountability and growth comes in). It's by abiding in Jesus where I had a deeper revelation of what He did for me on the cross, though He knew I would choose them over Him. It's where I found myself becoming more like Him each day. It's where I found strength and new life that could only be fulfilled through Him.

The more time you spend with Jesus, the more you will see yourself become satisfied in Him than in sin.

When we feed our spirit with the living Word of God, we starve the flesh. And when we feed our flesh with what it wants, we starve and grieve the Holy Spirit. Our actions and how we live our daily lives reflect what we have been giving our attention to. What we feed, will eventually grow.

I messed up and fell into sin again. What do I do now?

Ask for for forgiveness. Let Him know you messed up. Remember that you have been forgiven. Let Him wash you clean of your impurities. God is loving and merciful. He won't turn away, He'll turn to you with open arms. He won't judge you, instead He will wipe your sin away and give you a new name. He will help you. Because temptation will come, He is faithful & will provide a way out of temptation for you. (1 Corinthians 10:12-13).

The enemy's purpose is to make you believe that you are alone, no one understands you and the #1 lie the enemy loves to use the most: God is ashamed and doesn't love you anymore. But know this today: You are not alone. God is not ashamed of you, He loves you. He loves you so much that He sent you His only son Jesus to die for your sins. You have been forgiven on the cross. There is nothing you can do that can make Him love you any less.

So when you slip back, don't allow guilt and shame to make you believe that God can't possibly still love you after what you've done and you can't run back to Him. When guilt and shame have their way in your mind, know that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). Don't hesitate. Leave lust and pornography behind and come to Jesus. Allow Him to give you a fresh start.

Dear Father,

thank you for dying on the cross for our sins. We ask that You forgive us of the sins we committed. Lord, we know the Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. May You give us strength to flee from the things that separate us from You and pursue the things that bring us closer to You. Help us realize the grace that's been given to us by faith that enables us to turn away from sin and ungodliness. Help us to walk a life of purity so we can better reflect You. Help us to guard our hearts and minds, to take captive of every thought that it may glorify You Jesus. In Your name, Amen.